I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
