If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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