I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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