I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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