I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
