My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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