whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
