I feel like abortions should bother me more
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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