So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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