so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
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