So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
