There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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