I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Randomize
