Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize