I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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