Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
