He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize