How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
In America we eat man semen.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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