apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
