So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
