dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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