Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
