you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
