Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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