whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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