I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
