i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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