It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
