people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Randomize
