I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
