and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
operation harelip BJ is a go
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
