I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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