Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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