I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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