Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize