I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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