I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
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