We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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