She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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