i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
