Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
