none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
His hands were made for my vagina.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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