youre lurking in front of me
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Operation Purity has been aborted
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
