I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
