I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
