Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
