So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
