somebody snuck up and got me drunk
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
and she was petting her beer can
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
