is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize