Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
