I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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