I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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