I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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