i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
