I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
