genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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