so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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