doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
