The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
