Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
