where does the pee come out of this thing
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
