Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
