I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
