My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
