lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
We don't watch enough power rangers
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
